9/7/23, 8:52am

@jmax - i hear things in the white noise too. voices and singing and crying and music and doors closing and screaming and footsteps. it started in the hospital when we had the baby. i was trying to sleep with her in the plastic rolling bassinet cart next to me. i could hear a game show, or an infomercial, on a loop, in the white noise. i kept sitting up and tilting my head, trying to figure out where it was coming from. and it would always stop. i thought it was an auditory hallucination from lack of sleep, but it’s continued since we’ve gotten home. maybe it’s still from lack of sleep.

also, i always think that too—“the first september of our daughter’s life.” i tell her, “this is your first july. this is your first august. you’ve lived through your first august. this is your first time in september.”