11/9/25

7:44pm

I have been bad at keeping up with my line-a-day journal irl this summer/fall. It weighs heavy on me.

Rosebud’s bedtime routine has gotten longer, which was one of my biggest concerns about transitioning to a big girl bed. We are trying to nip it in the bud now. Which means Dad is the one who stays instead of me to read the last story, say prayers, and lay together. Because she has too hard of a time when I go to leave her.

I get that this is probably better for her, and for us in the long run, especially with the new baby coming soon, since I won’t be able to stay in there that long with her. But I am already so sad to be missing out on that 1:1 time with her. I love saying our prayers together and laying in bed together in the dark while she is quiet and cuddled against me. I have been very emotional yesterday and today about this bedtime stuff.

11/19/25

1:54pm

Our second daughter was born!! (This is not a realtime update to this blog—I was birthing her at 1:54pm.)

Will share the full birth story soon in another file. Will call her L, and will probably start calling Rosebud just R on here.

11/21/25

2:34am

Feeling good! I was able to avoid tearing/stitches again 🙌🏻 so I’m mobile. She’s a great eater but I totally forgot about the contraction-like cramping that happens with a good latch, so feeding has been pretty painful in that way. The LC said that that’s usually worse with the second baby 🙃 I’m thinking of getting my birth comb out again to get through it while she eats, honestly.

But she is sooooooo cute and all I want to do is snuggle her! Very hard to stop the snuggles so that I can sleep. We came home last night so I’m looking forward to a full day the three of us together uninterrupted by hospital staff.

Currently learning her pattern of sleeping/eating at night, what sounds mean she’s hungry, etc. She’s so sleepy, and it’s been difficult to wake her enough to eat, but a cool washcloth just did the trick!

5:46pm

She wasn’t pooping earlier but she was passing gas. I went back to my mothers’ support group chat, because someone who had her baby in October asked for advice about the same thing and it was a huge help since the moms with medical training weighed in. Luckily L had two dirty diapers today with Joseph while I was napping haha

She is a great eater but so sleepy and getting her to wake up to eat has been tough. It takes a really long time to get her to latch but once she does she goes to town. Which is a huge relief once she starts eating, but then it triggers the worstttt uterine cramping it feels like I’m in labor again.

11/22/25

9:12am

The lactation consultant at the hospital told me based on how my supply was last time to try not pumping for a month… So we’ll see how that goes.

My recovery nurse said that breastfeeding babies especially should be woken up. But L is so sleepy that I usually just put her against me at 3 or 3.5 hours and half-heartedly try to wake her up for half an hour and then get serious about getting her to latch after 30 minutes lol

I also really just want to let her sleep as long as she wants, but every time I try to do that I get chicken and my mom anxiety kicks in.

I think we’re entering cluster feeding phase because my boobs are getting fuller and so my milk should be changing and adjusting to how much she needs. She takes so long to finish the feed because she’s usually sleeping while eating and she really likes non-nutritive sucking when she’s done, so it’s hard to tell when to stop and when to start again… She also doesn’t like the bassinet yet (obviously) and just wants to be held, so I’m trying to figure out when I can sleep at night and when to wake up Joseph to hold her 🫠

Rosebud comes back this morning and that’s going to change everything.

8:33pm

R met L today! She loves her so much and is obsessed with her 🥹 So so sweet. One of the first things she said was, “I want to go to the zoo with you!” And I love how she says her name.

A lot of new logistics for us to navigate, especially sleep/responsibility-wise.

R is having a hard time when Mommy can’t pick her up or hold her 🥺 (Mommy is also having a hard time with that… My first postpartum cry was hearing her cry for me at bedtime when I had to feed Minnow😿)

8:54pm

Finally got L in the ring sling and we both love it! So nice to be a bit hands free!

11/23/25

8:26pm

Joseph took Rosebud all day today and I’ve been couch bound feeding and holding L (since she doesn’t like not being held). She’s eating so frequently. But I’ve read that cluster feeding at this point is totally normal because they’re signaling your breasts to make milk and your boobs are working out exactly how much they should make. So I’m managing the engorgement with cooling packs for swelling in between, and heating packs and gentle massage while she feeds to encourage milk flow. Just hand pumping a little at the beginning to make the nipple soft enough for her to latch. Hopefully my breasts will get the message in a week or so just how much they should be making.

We’re trying a schedule where I nap during R’s nap (usually 2 hours 1-3pm) while Joseph holds L, then Joseph goes to bed after putting R to bed at 8pm, and I get him around 2am (so he’s gotten maybe 6 hours) so I can then sleep as much as I can in between her eating (so like 2-4 hours of sleep for me total then) while he holds her in the other room 2-7am, then he gets R when she wakes up around 7am… We’ll see how sustainable this will be 😅 Today was our first day trying it and we’re planning to debrief tomorrow.

L tolerated the bassinet for about an hour last night. I did get the heating pad out to try that, but kept forgetting. I’ve taken the mini mattress out and put it under me while I feed her so that it warms it up and also smells like me for her.

11/24/25

4:52am

R definitely misses me, but in the same way she did before whenever Daddy would do anything with/for her while I was around, she’d go “No, Mommy can do it!” even before the baby. She hasn’t associated that with L, and I’m doing my best not to say anything that would inspire jealousy. So she absolutely lights up anytime she sees her and just wants to hold, hug, and kiss her!

7:58am

Turned a corner last night with the bassinet! I think now that my milk has come in it’s doing that magic thing where it makes her sleepy at night. I think we’ll try both going to bed early tonight.

Before I went to bed I just had her on my chest while I was sitting on the couch and she would root and I’d feed her basically in her sleep whenever she wanted, which was like every 30 minutes. But once I went upstairs she slept for 3 hours and then 2 hours in the bassinet on her own and I had to wake her up to feed her.

11/25/25

3:45pm

Best night so far last night! Turns out she likes extra white noise besides the box fan in our room. No fussing in the bassinet if we have that on! She slept well in the bassinet between every feeding last night so we got the most sleep so far.

11/26/25

8:08pm

Trying to read my postpartum cookbook to see what I should be eating in order to heal and get the nutrients I need. Ordered a Nutribullet Rx so I can make smoothies again since our old one broke.

11/27/25

11:04am

We are staying home just the four of us for Thanksgiving! My mom will be dropping off some food and we might cook some simple things. So far this is the chillest Thanksgiving ever haha

R is loving the Macy’s Day Parade. She decided to strip down and try underwear for the first time ever lol

Feeling good physically! My boobs are finally starting to chill out and not be so engorged. And L is doing well in the bassinet so we are getting more sleep! “More sleep” meaning maybe six hours in a few two-hour chunks between breastfeeding…

I think Joseph and I have figured out a good system for night time. We have a bassinet next to our bed, but Joseph also has a floor bed setup in the nursery, so when L doesn’t settle after eating he takes her into the nursery so I can sleep, comforts her and puts her to sleep in the Moses basket in there while he sleeps next to her, then I go get her when it’s time to eat again. It’s been helping us each maximize our chances to sleep. It’s just too bad we don’t have a guest room with a real bed anymore.

L is so noisy when she eats/when we change her diaper that Joseph wasn’t getting sleep then, and then if she wasn’t settling in between feeds, I wasn’t getting sleep, so it’s easier for Joseph to go in the other room with her to calm her down and for him to get some sleep while I feed her. When we were both in the same room we both had constantly interrupted sleep, and being that tired during the day with Rosebud is reeeeeally hard (vs it being something we could get away with when we just had newborn Rosebud to take care of).

The goal is to get to the point where we can both get good sleep in our bedroom together with the bassinet. Will happen when she settles easier in the bassinet and we’re allowed to let her sleep for longer stretches… I need to look up when that is.

11/29/25

9:16pm

Ten days old today—already out of the single digit days. I remember that had me very emotional with R and I think that’s when I had my first postpartum cry with her; I was upset that she was already growing up so fast and it was going by so quickly.

L keeps pooping and then falling asleep and then I change her which wakes her up and then she wants to eat again and then she falls asleep and I put her in her sleep sack and she poops again and it starts over 😫

11/30/25

6:20am

Happy due date to me :)

L slept well (meaning I had to be the one to wake her up every 3 hours) until I put her down at 4am. Then she woke up hungry an hour later at 5am and now again at 6am. Going to try to sleep more when she’s done.