8/21/25

11:26pm

Do I really not have any plain journal entries in 2025?? Wow.

I guess that makes sense. This winter was rough and then I’ve been feeling this gigantic sense of anxiety around journaling since then.

Maybe something to unpack another time.

Well, here are my little words again. They’re back.

8/22/25

11:41pm

Can’t sleep, too revved up. Went to an improv show and now I’m revved up.

I added flounder as a bookmark app on my home screen and I’m thinking this will help me come back here more. I’m more likely to tippy tappy an app than go to my browser to type in a url for some depressing 2025-ass reason.

I think my next project that I’d like to actually finish will be a creative writing project I started on here a year ago that has been a hidden file since then. I would really like to do that by the end of October. Will see.

Other big project is Rosebud’s big girl room and basement work/play space. That needs to happen soon too.

Baby Minnow’s due date is in 100 days!!!!

8/25/25

7:09am

Rosebud is sleeping in. But Baby Minnow is kicking and not letting me sleep in. I pressed my belly against husband’s back so he could feel her kicking too. Weird that the baby already causes you to lose sleep before they’re even here.

Was dreaming that Rosebud had human fleas in her hair that were jumping everywhere and that she had bites all over her back. Was very stressful and also contributed to my brain not wanting to sleep anymore.

Went for a 1.5hr roadtrip yesterday to pickup something from fb marketplace and invited a friend I’ve been wanting to hang out with more and know better. Very glad I did, it was a really nice drive with good conversation. If I can get them on flounder that’d be huge. Their stuff is so good. (Stuff meaning writing, poetry, way of thinking, vibes.) Very proud of Rosebud for being so good and adorable the whole time!

I do feel bad because for part of the adventure I had promised to visit Grandpa’s Cheesebarn, which was near-ish to the pickup site, but after I picked up the item it would have been closed by the time we got there :((( So I owe them (and myself and Rosebud) a trip to Grandpa’s Cheesebarn for cheese, sandwiches, chocolates, and ice cream delights.

But we did go to a tiny local ice cream & grill spot called Frankie’s that was very good. Rosebud ate the whole peanut butter sandwich I packed for her, friend got a soft pretzel, and I got a cheeseburger (fine) and seasoned waffle fries (very good).

Then we got soft serve ice cream there. They had a lot of fun flavors and different treats that looked very good, but we have no good soft serve places near where I live so I had to take advantage of the situation. Got a medium chocolate vanilla swirl that was huge and delicious. Rosebud got a perfect baby size strawberry soft serve with candy eyes—she loved it so much, she was over the moon. We cheers’ed our cones together multiple times and she helped me finish mine.

She came home and immediately told her dad about her pink ice cream with the crunchy eyes. Adorable.

8/28/25

3:30pm

Adding a journal entry at the bottom instead of the top is annoying when writing but better when reading back on entries months/years later. So I will keep doing this.

Taking today as a pajama day, which I hardly ever do anymore because the child usually demands the park before 8am. But she went to a park with her Grammy today so I stayed home and made a conscientious decision to rest and not do anything. It’s been so nice. This weekend is going to be a lot so I need to take advantage of nothing time.

It’s back to school time, fall is near, and I feel such a draw to go back to Boston/New England; I feel like we basically have almost every year since 2013 for college or a trip to see family. Not this year though. I am watching The X-Files because I associate it with college and it feels like I should be going back to BC to start my next semester soon. Even though it’s been nine years.

We have another family wedding in Massachusetts a year from now in August 2026. After we go to that we are planning to stay at the Finger Lakes for the first time on the way back. I’m hoping more family come with us for that. I love staying in a big house with family. Weird to think that our daughters will be 3 years and 10 months then! I’ve been having fun looking at AirBnBs. I’ve been sad to not have plans to visit New England this fall, so planning this is making me feel better.

My anxiety about losing both girls has been really high lately; I think just because of the hormones/anxiety that comes with pregnancy. I requested a referral for therapy from my midwife. I think planning for the future has also been helping with that; making me feel somewhat in control, probably, if I had to psychoanalyze it.

8/29/25

7:00am

Today is the day: opening night of CALLBACK, my husband’s musical. Of course this is the worst night of sleep Rosebud has gotten in months. And we went to bed at like 12:30am after Joseph got home from rehearsal at midnight, and then we stayed up talking in bed trying to accurately cast the Muppets in the show. Joseph was the one to get her; he’s going to be so tired today.

I am so glad to be there with him every night this week. Babysitters are all lined up!

I can’t wait to see it all put together. God I hope it’s a good crowd all this weekend that’ll actually appreciate it. All four shows sold out! I wonder what the standby line will be like.

Taking Rosebud to the big county fair today! Very excited. She will love it. I will love it. And I get to see my best friend since 4th grade since she flew into town to see CALLBACK!

I am most looking forward to seeing the 4H submissions for:

-Homemade scarecrows

-Tall sunflowers

-Cake decorating

-Quilts

-Creepy dolls

-Big vegetables

-Flowers

-Fairy garden baskets

Also looking forward to watching Rosebud see all the animals and watching the working dog demonstration where they jump in the lake after fake ducks and swim back to shore with them using whistle commands.

Maybe we will stop by my old co-workers park district booth to tag a monarch. I also want to eat a corn dog, Amish fry pie, and get a fresh lemonade, and to see if Rosebud would like to ride any of the kiddie rides.

Maybe she’ll want to play a game. I wonder if the demolition derby or pig races will happen while we’re there?

I love the fair.

Will maybe meet up with mom friends this morning for a walk in the park that’s scheduled for the local mom group. Wonder who will be there. Beautiful brisk day! Autumn is upon us.