1/2/24

• feeling less renewed than i usually do at new year’s
• feeling quiet
• reading
• booking more improv shows
• taking in every moment with my baby
• making 2023 recap videos of my baby and rewatching them again and again
• not doing things i should but will maybe start tomorrow
• brushing the cats

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1/5/24

• writing ten letters to my mom for her 60th birthday on sunday
• making chicken noodle soup
• giving the baby solid foods!! plain whole yogurt and strawberries today
• cleaning up after the baby after her food mess
• sitting by the crib to try to get the baby to sleep
• watching the baby roll around and smile and gargle-yell and play with her binkies instead of napping
• making the baby laugh (ish… it’s more of a happy squeal or throaty guffaw)
• walking with the baby in the cold
• laughing at pictures of the baby in her snowsuit
• sending pictures of the baby in her snowsuit to family and friends
• texting old coworkers about work and catching up
• organizing a game night with friends
• finishing watching the morning show before our apple tv subscription expires
• trying to nail down a sleep schedule with the baby
• getting back into movies with my husband!!

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1/11/24

• trying to do my chores everyday
• taking the baby to library programs and swim lessons!
• wanting it to snow
• trying to budget and save money
• watching movies and having good discussions with my husband

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1/17/24

11:27pm

last day of my 20s

i turn 30 tomorrow. weird that the last time i closed in on a decade of life, i was a teenager. and before that, i was a kid. now with each new decade i will just be Adult forever.

adult then adult then adult then adult. middle age. then old. then… really old.

my goal is 106. so i can live in three different centuries. i think that would be neat. maybe i would live to see my great great grandchildren by then. any ancestors would be nice. i will tell them about cd-roms and video stores and phones with cords and the pink old navy t-shirt i had for new years that said “2000” and the zeroes were ladybugs.

i think i hope i will try to write more of a reflection tomorrow. the baby is crying. less than half an hour until my birthday.

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1/21/24

• glowing and recovering from the incredible birthday surprise my husband pulled off for me yesterday
• making the baby laugh
• watching the baby CRAWL
• taking in time
• eating a lot of dessert and drinking wine
• spending time with my friends in way that feels like old times again
• feeling so utterly utterly blessed
• doing my best to be grateful and not be head empty

Yesterday my husband pulled off the most incredible, thoughtful, beautiful surprise for my 30th birthday. He created a 35-minute short film documenting my life, including professional interviews of my family, kind testimonies from many of my friends, photos & home videos from my childhood and beyond, and secret footage he had taken of me with my baby daughter. AND he created an original soundtrack to score the movie as well. He rented out a private screen at our local independent movie theater and invited all my family and friends to surprise me and watch the film together. It was… out of this world.

He spent hours upon hours coordinating this, scanning photos, editing videos, formatting files, recording music and voiceover, and making test runs at the movie theater. All while I was completely in the dark about it. (He said he’s never going to try to keep anything else secret from me ever again because of how hard and stressful it was.)

I rounded the corner of the theater without a clue of what I was walking into: a theater full of my very sneaky family and friends smiling and cheering at me, and a custom movie about my life on the big screen.

It is called Three Seasons, and is divided into three parts: Past, Present, and Future. The past was filled with home videos of me as a baby and little kid (some that I had never seen before!) spliced with photos and interviews of my family talking about me as a child. It also included a song my husband wrote about us with a montage of pictures from our ten years together. And a perfect edit of our wedding footage. During the Present, my family and friends sent in videos describing me with the kindest words. But my favorite part was the footage and photos of our daughter set to beautiful, hopeful, emotional music. The Future had my family and friends’ encouraging predictions for my future.

I cried the whole time.

And then we all got to hang out afterwards! With delicious cake!!!

I am still processing it all. There are not enough words to capture the joy of yesterday. I am grateful for my family and so many sweet people who contributed to the film and came to celebrate with me.

But I am most grateful for husband, who has created a world where this kind of magic and love is possible. It was the greatest gift for me, but also for our daughter, as he intended it to be.

Blessings!!!