so weird i was brushing my teeth and thinking about work and thinking about how while i am sad to not work with kids as much, i am grateful to be on a day shift schedule as an admin because i was getting cozy for bed while other employees were just finishing night hike and starting the campfire for our current overnight group. glad that’s not me tonight. i got to watch a horror movie with my husband and snuggle with my baby.


but anyway weirdly while i was brushing my teeth and thinking about work and being glad i didn’t have to deal with work, a co-worker texts me about work. and she apologized for texting after hours but she had an important thing to update me about. it was a long text. i mostly was just perplexed that i had probably started thinking about work while she was drafting this long text to me. maybe i sensed it somehow.


i read once somewhere that the little voice inside your head that warns you about things is really your self sending telepathic thoughts to you from a different plane. isn’t that a neat thought?


so after i experience something bad, or near misses, or a really happy moment, i close my eyes and try to send my past self a message through some alternate dimension to watch out for whatever i should avoid, or to savor the moment while i can. even if it doesn’t help out my past self in this dimension, maybe it’ll help out another timeline version of me who can hear me.


and as i go through each day, i try to really listen to my inner voice because whatever it is that my heart seems to want, maybe that’s my future self telling me which way to go.


——————


sad that my dumb rubber straw has mold in it. i have to clean it. i keep forgetting to bring it downstairs. thirsty at bedtime.


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my thoughts are too unorganized and mismatched to put in the same document. that’s why i’m logging my day across five different files in different writing styles/formats


sorry if it’s annoying


i actually deleted fb off my phone and not just my home screen, so i will be on here even more and become even more insufferable


ali, people don’t have to read any of this if they don’t want to. i literally doesn’t matter. write whatever you want however you want to. no one cares. your thoughts are all over the place and chaotic and not nice and neat or minimalist like a lot of other pages you admire, but that’s okay, you don’t have to be like them. just be you. it doesn’t matter and it makes you unique. just do what’s best for you and your brain. however you want to write it good. it’s good. relax. deep breath. don’t care. just don’t care so much. knock it off. it’s better for you not to care. care about some things, sure, of course, but certainly not this. okay?



/gemlog/