11:11 lucky me

tagged 10 different audiobooks

going to listen to them on my commute to work

feels like cheating

being able to finish books while driving

is good

hard to pick up a physical book with a baby

he’s talking in his sleep again

“ah ba ba bup,” whispered

hot night tonight

🎶i love / hot nights🎶

oh to be cruising in my pastel colored convertible in the 1950s

oh to be walking the streets to different restaurants and bars on a summer night

oh to be sleeping on an air mattress with the windows open and fan going in my boyfriend’s city apartment

oh to be walking across campus alone after getting off the T

i stay up too late all the time

what happened to my tiredness that had been haranguing me all day?

this happens all the time

“night owl” they say

i miss watching conan in bed on school nights

and the fresh prince of bel air on nick at nite

on my giant box tv in the corner of my room

i miss my wooden desk that my legs didn’t quite fit under

where i would do my homework

and listen to my alarm clock radio from the 80s

and tune it to the christmas station in december

cold nights in flannel pajamas then

now i am sweating on top of flannel sheets

brain goes buzz buzz

my stream of consciousness looks different than his

i think in broken thoughts and phrases

these aren’t poetic lines

just my brain jumping to the next thought

the next train

the next traincar

i’m just a hobo riding this train of thought

jimmy crack corn and i don’t care

skip to my lou my darlin

my darling baby

so sleeping

so peaceful

and breathing and lips

i can’t wait for her morning smile

in her little kicking sleep sack

i want to see it every day

i love her

early tomorrow

i wonder if i will see my baby

or if i will have to goodbye in the dark and go

before i get to see that smile